To those who will never be enough

Somewhere along the way, someone told her she would never be enough.

Never enough to be loved.

Not as she was...not as she could be.

Because she could never be enough.

There would always be some flaw that proved too much, insurmountable.

She couldn't blame them when they walked.

She knew. She wasn't enough.

Some lasted longer than others, but the end was always the same.

She was never enough.

What was it? What about her didn't add up?

She wasn't sure. And yet she knew all the same.

And she knew it would never matter how much she ever became, because it would never. be. enough.

It became her identity.

"Hi, my name is...and I'm never enough."

She longed for the day when one, at least one, redeeming quality would over shadow a flaw.

That day never came until....

....she decided she was enough for herself.

She knew she wasn't perfect. No one is.

And if that guy, or that teacher or that friend doesn't think she's enough, well, they are the ones who aren't enough for her.

But she was enough. She IS enough.

Junk drawers and lost thoughts

I've had so many thoughts running through my brain the past few weeks/months. But I haven't been able to put them together, or make sense of them.

The thoughts seem very sporadic and incoherent, hence the reason I can't successfully catalog and organize them.

I guess that's why people have a junk drawer.

I need one for my brain.

A place for all the random, possibly useless...and yet possibly useful thoughts. The thoughts I don't quite know what to do with.

There's just no place for them.

Maybe what they really need is some time in the sun. A day. To walk around and stretch their legs.

Perhaps then they'd be able to find their place.

But airing a thought out or two or twenty can be daunting, exhausting.

Looking at all the ins and outs, analyzing...

But then, I guess if I were doing that, I'm not actually letting it walk around, I'm taking it for a walk.

I need to take the leash off and let it be.

Be the thought that it is.

Perhaps if I stop resisting it, stop trying to tie it down, the lost thought will find it's way home.

Maybe I'm just curious where it will end up.