So, I'm 3 days away from no longer being divorced in happy valley...
and I'm on to being happily married in Salt Lake Valley.
I feel like this is the part where I talk about what an amazing, hard journey it has been. And well yeah, sure, it has been.
But I just don't feel like talking about that now.
I was perusing Facebook and saw a photo a friend had posted, with a caption of something like, "I totally love her." It was a photo (from what I gathered) of his soon to be wife playing with his kids on the tramp.
And for whatever reason it sort of hit me like a ton of bricks in the face (well, that would really hurt, so maybe something lighter). Anyway, I just thought it was so lovely.
And it got me thinking about my own "soon to be."
I think my experiences over the last several years, in a way, have hardened me. I have built a tough shell around me and my babies, to ensure that no one would ever be able to get in and hurt me/us again.
But like all shells, they not only repel the bad, but they definitely keep out the good too.
And bless his heart, my future hubby sure has had a lot of wall to fight through to get to me. I know I haven't always made it easy for him.
I think it just always comes down to fear.
But let me go back to the photo...
It just made me think "Why can't people just be crazy about each other? In front of EVERYONE!"
This friend posted that photo, with those words, for all to see. You can tell he's crazy about her. And how wonderful is that?
Granted, I tend to be a more private person, public displays have not traditionally been my scene, and I have often been the one instigating the disgust over people "in love."
But, I still feel what I feel about MY love.
Maybe I have gotten to a point where I don't want to make apologies for how I feel. Yeah, I think that's it.
Because yes, it's been a hard, super sucky, awful, yet amazing road. But somehow, I found a great guy who wants to be with me, despite having to bust out the jackhammer and tear down my walls, and despite my past, my quirks and my fears.
I found someone who is crazy about me, and I'm crazy about him.
And no, I don't anticipate a ride that will not have some (multiple, numerous, many...) bumps along the road, but at least when I hit those bumps I'll have someone holding my hand, someone who is on my side. And when I remember that, all that fear melts.
So now I start a new path, and this time I won't be alone. What do you bet I get much farther, or maybe the journey will be a little more enjoyable this time? There's nothing like being married to someone who actually wants to be there...or so I hear.
And I won't make apologies for being crazy about him.
