The Grand Gesture

Movies are so wonderful. They make us feel happy, sad. They make laugh and they make us cry. They pull at our heart string and make us believe in soul mates and forever love.

Movies have mastered the power of emotion.

Tricky little buggers.

The story is always the same though. Girl meets boy. Girl falls for boy. Boy falls for girl. There's an insurmountable conflict. Then....my favorite part,

the grand gesture.

Whose heart doesn't skip a beat then? Who's heart doesn't sigh a little? It's a beautiful thing.

The grand gesture, the cure all, the final step before happy ever after.

But does it happen in real life? Oh sure, everyone would like to believe it, hope for it even.

Who wouldn't want someone to travel across the country in the middle of the night, or overcome a fear of heights to reach you? Who wouldn't want someone to come to their senses and in a grand moment, while you're holding a cat in a filthy ally way in New York City in the pouring rain, kiss you passionately and tell you all the things you've always longed to hear?

Who wouldn't?

But.

A place of light

We're all wanderers.

When it comes down to it, that's all we are.

Whether we are literally wandering, by walking from one place to another, which we do everyday, or our souls are wandering....searching.

It's as if our hearts are guiding us at times. We seek to be complete. We are looking for a place of light.

After days of rain, we ache to sit in the sun, the warm light.

We often think about finding a way to carry that warm light with us everywhere. The task seems so daunting at times, so impossible. Life seems so unbearably hard at times.

But with every hard second and every hard minute, we stretch, we grow. Stronger. Taller. Closer to that warm light. Closer to a place where we can keep it.

And, for brief moments we touch it. We sit in it. We bask in it. Like a sponge we soak up the warmth like a starving animal devours its food.

Then it's hard again.

But, always in our minds, is that moment. The moment of warmth. Light.

So we keep moving forward.

Because we know that one day we'll stumble upon a meadow full of light. And we will sit. And the light will be ours, to keep. Forever.

And all the icy cold heartache will melt in the sun.

And we will be complete.

No longer wanderers.

Phone snob

I love technology.

It's always so exciting to see the new things that come out.

One of my favorite technological devises is the iPhone.

It does so many cool things!

I have actually gotten to the point where I sort of look down on people who have a lesser device. Like an android or blackberry.

I'm a bit of a phone snob.

Fools are cool(s)

Sometimes you have to be a fool. Sometimes it's the only way to enjoy life.

....and life is absolutely meant to be enjoyed!

So let loose!
Be crazy!
Sing!
Dance a jig!
Laugh till it hurts!
Skip down the street!
Smile at a stranger!

....be a complete fool,
and enjoy your life!



-- Post From My iPhone

Bucket list

I'm never really been a fan of the term "goal." It makes me think of my eager to please 12-year-old self, who wanted to conquer the world, one personal progress project at a time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think goals are all well and good, but can we just call them something else?

Just like some people have an aversion to the word "moist," such is my disgust with the word "goal," it gives me shivers and makes me cringe.

I prefer the idea of bucket lists. One, because I like lists. There is something magical about a list of things (to do, to become, to see, to experience, etc.) It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

But I think that people should have more than one bucket list. There should be a short list, of things that can (are desired to) be done in one year to 18 months and another long list, which should be completed before one dies and often include larger adventures.

I will share some morsels from both my lists.

Short bucket list:
-Graduate college
-Go skydiving
-Visit New York
-Try out for Roller Derby

Long bucket list:
-Travel throughout Europe
-Life in New York City
-Write/Publish a novel

Those are just a few examples.

So what are some things on your short and long bucket lists?


-- Post From My iPhone

The scarlet letter D

Yesterday, I was officially divorced for 8 months. It's a bit of a strange thought. But here I am, nonetheless.

In those 8 long (and short) months I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself and about the people around me. I've learned what I'm capable of. I've found some amazing strength that at times, blows me away. I've discovered the pure kindness and caring of others, BUT I've also been reminded of how cruel people can be.

Walking around with a crimson D across my heart, seared there through years of heartache, can feel like dragging a dead donkey through the desert sand. Trudging. Every step sucks me into the earth. Buried.

The neon sign seems to alert all I see. It warns them that I have lost value because of the Letter. It reminds on-lookers that I shouldn't be looked at, I should be invisible, because I'm not fit for their company.

I wish people understood.

But they don't. I have learned to love myself DESPITE all that. I've learned to deflect the negativity. My worn, tired skin has thickened in the hot desert sun and sand.

And I am learning how to embrace my brand.

What the Scarlet Letter D, for Divorcee, really is saying, is... I survived. My withered and dying soul had enough strength to walk away and revive itself. And I didn't allow myself to be swallowed up and vanish completely.

The D says I am STRONG.

So don't mistake a D for weakness, stupidity or worthlessness. Because let me assure you, you have no idea.

Just a piece of pie

I've been reading some books lately (thank you Heather) and they've really got the ol' cogs in my brain a spinning.

While so much of what I'm reading feels like common sense, at the same time they are things I've neglected to incorporate in my life. Or rather, had forgotten about.

I sit there reading, and thinking, "dadgum, that completely makes sense, what was I thinking/doing?!"

So I'm on a mission, to not forget.

In one of the books, it talks about balance. I generally like to think I'm a fairly balanced person, but as I read, I realized I need to tweak a few things, which is fine, as this is a learning process.

When it comes to balance, there are often so many things on our plate. (let's say a whole pie) And you can't make any one thing in your life the whole pie. Each thing can only be a slice. Some slices are bigger than others, sure, but the bottom line...everything is just a piece of the whole.

This was a good reminder for me.

A pie is much more enjoyable one slice at a time, rather than having the whole thing shoved down your throat at once.

Also, when you make one thing your whole pie, it (or they) become overwhelming, which will also take all the fun out of piece.

So relax, and eat your pie and don't ever think that one piece is as big as the whole thing.

And heck, you can even throw some whip cream on top, of each little piece.