Rubber underwear

Some days just make me feel like I'm wearing rubber underwear, weird, uncomfortable.

I don't like it when that happens.

I just want someone to come along and take it away, every last pair of rubber undies I have.

In all seriousness...today was strange.

I haven't been able to determine exactly why, but I've run through some possibilities:

The weather drastically changed today, out of no where it seemed. And in that changing weather, I seem to have missed my favorite season, fall, and all it's magical wonderment.

Also, could be that Steve Jobs died yesterday. Now, I'm not saying I will be missing having Sunday dinners at his house, we weren't close, but I respect the man for his genius (of which I am using one of his fantastic devices to blog from) and vision. The other thing, is that he died, of pancreatic cancer at the young age of 56. My died if the same cancer at 51. Thinking about that makes me miss my mom. I wish she were here, I have a lot of bones to pick with her, and mostly I want, well, need to bask in her wisdom for a spell.

Missing my mom always makes me homesick, for a home that doesn't exist anymore.

So, I am lying alone, in my cold room, missing my mom, homesick for any kind of feeling of home, and just feeling weird today.

I hope my dream catcher over my bed works over time tonight. Or I just hope to wake up in regular underwear, hopefully the rubber will have melted away.

Hopefully.


-- Post From My iPhone

Opinions change...maybe

So, for a good while I have seen myself as "not the relationship type."

Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking, she's divorced, she's got baggage, blah blah blah. But it's more than that.

I think it came down to the fact that I'm difficult. And in being difficult, men just didn't want to deal with me. I get that.

But then, what happens when I meet a fella who wants to put up with my crap, for longer than a couple dates...well, I don't know, but from what I can tell, so far, it's just all around awesome.

I'll be honest, I feel guilt sometimes, I mean, I am just trouble and he just loves me despite that. It's a strange feeling, you know, to be loved and wanted, when for so long you've been told you weren't worth the effort.

It's strange, sometimes unnerving. But really, it's just great.

So, I may be the relationship type, maybe. But I really just think it comes down to finding a good match, I think that can make a "relationship type" out of most of us...finding a good fit.

And as I see it, I found a good fit.

-- Post From My iPhone