As promised...

Here is my first letter to Teresa, it's from June 25, 2010 at 3:48 pm.

Letter 1
Dear Teresa,

It's been 5 years, 5 months and 17 days.
I wonder where you are, I wonder what it's like where you are. I wonder if the trees there have peacock feathers on them, instead of leaves. I wonder if you can ride your bike on the clouds, and if the birds singing in the trees sometimes turn into drawings as you ride passed them.
Do you get to take naps by the river bank? Do you even need to sleep?
I wonder how time works over there. Time is slow here, and at the same time, it flies, and I often feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean, treading water, trying to keep up with time. Sometimes I think of time as a little elf or imp, that runs away from me, laughing, just so it can enjoy watching me panting as I run after him. Oh, the little devil. Truth be told, I often enjoy the chase, it helps me keep my mind occupied. In my mind I chase Mr. Time through a massive forest, where the leaves are actually peacock feathers. And sometimes I run passed a group of peacocks, and their feathers are actually leaves.
Sometimes I picture time as the little white rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland". And then my mind wanders. I think about how when I was 13, I played Alice in the school play. That was a high point in my life. I felt like I was shining then, sadly after 13 more years, that shine has become dull. Then I get sad, when I think about losing my shine. I should have kept myself polished, oh how can I get that shine back?
I know if you were here, well, I know if you could answer me when I talk to you in my mind, you would know the right thing to say. You would tell me to...
...I am not exactly sure what you'd say, I guess that's why I am so lost. Perhaps I got lost chasing Mr. Time through the forest. Maybe I got distracted looking at the beautiful peacock feathers and the shadows they cast on the ground as they sway gently in the breeze.
Do you think I will find you one day in the forest? Are you chasing after Mr. Time too? I hope we meet there someday. You could prop your bike next to a tree and we could watch the birds turn into drawings and the peacocks with their leaf feathers, as they strut through the forest. Mostly I would like to lay my head in your lap, and fall asleep, by the river bank, and not think about treading water in the ocean and chasing Mr. Time.
... maybe that's what you would say to me, stop treading water, and stop chasing Mr. Time. Would that be your advice?
I miss you.
Love,
Ang