The Scarlet Letter D

Yesterday, I was officially divorced for 8 months. It's a bit of a strange thought. But here I am, nonetheless.

In those 8 long (and short) months I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself and about the people around me. I've learned what I'm capable of. I've found some amazing strength that at times, blows me away. I've discovered the pure kindness and caring of others, BUT I've also been reminded of how cruel people can be.

Walking around with a crimson D across my heart, seared there through years of heartache, can feel like dragging a dead donkey through the desert sand. Trudging. Every step sucks me into the earth. Buried.

The neon sign seems to alert all I see. It warns them that I have lost value because of the Letter. It reminds on-lookers that I shouldn't be looked at, I should be invisible, because I'm not fit for their company.

I wish people understood.

But they don't. I have learned to love myself DESPITE all that. I've learned to deflect the negativity. My worn, tired skin has thickened in the hot desert sun and sand.

And I am learning how to embrace my brand.

What the Scarlet Letter D, for Divorcee, really is saying, is... I survived. My withered and dying soul had enough strength to walk away and revive itself. And I didn't allow myself to be swallowed up and vanish completely.

The D says I am STRONG.

So don't mistake a D for weakness, stupidity or worthlessness. Because let me assure you, you have no idea.