Unsolicited advice

Whenever anyone is going through anything big in their life, people are always chomping at the bit to throw in their two cents on the situation, whether we want to hear it or not.

They want to tell us what we should do, and what we shouldn't do. They want to tell us how we should feel, and that we're crazy if we don't feel a certain way.

We all do this, we all have this need to chime in. We can't help it.

I remember getting tons of unsolicited advice when I got divorced...a lot of it unwanted, a lot of it bad, a lot of it good, most of which I didn't realize was good until later.

I'm the kind of gal who has to try things out myself. Crazy I know, but it's just how I work.

I had a lot of people tell me I shouldn't date right away, a lot. But I didn't listen, I jumped right in.

I craved the acceptance I hadn't had in a long time. I wanted to see some hope that I was still valuable as a human being.

I did finally learn that I have a lot of value as a human being. But I didn't learn that entirely from dating. It actually came when I learned to accept myself, which lesson has been extremely important in my life.

I found that I wouldn't get acceptance from any guy, until I could accept myself. I'd never feel I had any worth to him, until I felt it for myself.

I probably could have figured all that out sooner had I not been dating. I also could have saved myself a lot of additional stress and heartache.

But.

I learn differently. And I took a different path. And I accept the path I took, as the path for me.

And this path has brought me to a point, where I feel the need to give unsolicited advice... Which is: newly divorced (and certainly not officially divorced) individuals shouldn't date. You've got so much you need to work through, and even if you're stable, you're a wreck.

But.

I never listened to such advice. And I turned out okay.

I guess the real important nugget here is, whether divorced, going through a divorce, single, widowed, or whatever, find your own path, whether it's a heavily traveled one or you're blazing a new trail. And, learn to accept yourself. Learn to value yourself.

Learn to be amazed by yourself. Because you're amazing, I promise.

And have no regrets. There is something you can take from every situation, whether it's a new friend, a new perspective or lesson learned.

Even if your path doesn't end up where you intend, there is something valuable from taking the journey.

....but that's just my two cents.