All I ever needed to know, I learned from Zombies

This is for a friend...

All I know about zombies I have learned from Hollywood. Though some tales offer contradictory accounts of the little buggers, I have gathered the information and made my own conclusions.

And the conclusion is this, I think we should all have a more zombie-like attitude. Hold up! Let me explain...

Zombies are focused beings, they see the thing they desire, namely your juicy arms, and they go for it!

Also, zombies take their time. Sure, they may miss some opportunities along the way or get blown to smithereens due to their lack of speed, but if literature has taught me anything, it's that "slow and steady wins the race," and that pretty much sums up how zombies roll. So they definitely have that going for them. Little geniuses!

Though they do move slowly, they are quite the efficient and "green" little beings. They eat on the run (or slow walk), they don't waste time cooking their food, they choose all natural foods with no preservatives (like humans), they don't drive cars, and they recycle too (like a "no human left behind" project). They'll probably save the planet with their earth conscious and civically engaged mind-set.

Zombies also are not impressed by the prestige of people, like humans are. They'll eat a bum just as quickly as they would the president, they're not picky pants. They're just super easy going, and extend the opportunity to be eaten to every human out there, rich or poor, short or tall, famous or unknown. They are truly equal opportunity feeders.

So, I hope that you can all show a little more respect to these lovely creatures we call zombies. I think they have things more figured out than we thought, maybe even more than we do. And there's a lot we can learn from them.